Kim Kardashian's Ass. What Could Be More Important?

Kim Kardashian's Ass. What Could Be More Important?


The economic meltdown. Genocide in Africa. Civil unrest challenging the rule of law in Eastern Europe. With all of these vital, life-and-death situations on our plate as global citizens, what could be more important right now?

Kim Kardashian's ass could. I write this with only a small degree of irony.

I came to this decision whilst googling images of Kim Kardashian's ass on google image search. For all the eye-rollers out there, I've already got you pegged:

you're either female (in which case this blog is not fah ya)

or you're now leaving this blog and navigating to google image search (Really? *Corky voice* There's a search engine for images?) search term "Kim+ Kardashian +ass"

So as I found several of these images, and there are several, not only was I blown away by the beauty therein, but I was also blown away by the hate that was associated with it in the articles. Of course there are haters everywhere, but it's like every article was calling her out as having "cottage cheese ass" or "butt implants" or simply a "ginormous ass." I've seen some big asses in my time, for good and ill. And her ass is not that big. It's medium.

Now it is beautifully shaped - that's why I'm aiming my search and the rest of my being towards it - but not that big. This is kind of like the J-Lo thing that happened a few years ago. People saying it's the biggest ever. It's just big, it's not like Jupiter. So all that hate and stuff on the blogs? There has to be an explanation. Maybe the female bloggers are hating, that makes sense. But the guys? Why would they hate? Maybe they're blogging with their girlfriend over their shoulder? I've discussed this at length with friends, and I won't bore you with all of the psychobabble about subconscious racism, and socioeconomic discrimination, but it boils down to this:

Your dick is too small. Yeah I said it.

It's just biology dude. If you're bottoming out and hitting the coccyx bone UH THAT DOESNT FEEL GOOD. When in public conversation and I hear a dude say "I don't like a big ass," I already know he's insecure about uhmmm length. And Kim Kardashian is not overweight, or fat. She's awesome-looking, and her ass is proportional to her waist, something close to the .7 ratio we've genetically selected to be most attractive for women.

So those dudes saying her ass is too big aint saying she's fat. They're saying they know they can't do a thing with it!

So if there's a great deal of big-ass-calling to Kardashian, and we've established that her ass is actually not that big, AND the blogs and news articles that say this are being consumed without too much protest (indicating some degree of tacit public agreement) what does this mean? Does this mean that most ppl are in fact missing big enough ass in their life? Does it mean that the majority are in fact having little dicks? My mind is a little boggled by this, but that's nothing new. Like am I crazy for thinking that her ass looks, you know, normal, and that's how it should look? As Scarface said, sometimes I feel like I'm the one that's doing dope.


So what have I learned today? To sum up:

• Kim Kardashian is bad in the ass, waist, and face.
  
  
• Ppl saying her ass is too big are either haters (jealous women) or men with tiny penii

• Looking at flix of Kardashian demands my attention far and above that of current sociopolitical events